When Good Intentions Aren't Enough

I write this post sitting here in total confusion. I admit that sometimes my intentions are good but I think that they cloud my capability. All that I want to do with my life is first, surrender to God and let His Will be done thru me. Second, I just want to raise my babies to the best of my ability, I want to be a loving wife, and last but not least, I want to help children in anyway that I can. Wether that be by adoption, advocation, foster parenting, volunteering, or just by any other means possible.

That being said, I do believe that my heart is big but I really need to wrap my mind around what my husband and I can really handle and take on in our lives and family. As most of you know, Arlyn has been getting sick alot lately and it scares us to death everytime! She is a tough cookie but she is oh so fragile at the same time. We are working on trying to figure out what is causing these bouts of tummy trouble and everytime, we have to think "Is it something more severe"??? Us, as parents, know that when our babies are sick, the world stops and our "mamma bear" mode kicks in, and they are the center of our attention in those moments.

So in these past few days, I really had to stop and think, "Do we have any business adopting another seriously medically fragile child"??

You all, I just don't know that answer! I really don't! I know that our hearts would be in in for the long haul but do we physically and mentally have what it takes for 2 fragile babies??

I am going on prayer and letting God lead the way as we finish up our paperwork. I also have to share that there is another family that has appeared and will be going into consideration along with us for baby boy. I am not saddened by this, but I am seeing that this may be God's way of telling us to let go or fight even harder for this child.

Either way, this child will get a great family and he will be loved beyond belief!! I will let you know how this unfolds as we take this journey and follow our faith.