My AH HA Moment!

Well, I have made it back to Ohio and survived my Ky trip and my crazy family (just kidding dear family) hehe! I am so blessed to have my amazing husband and my mother in law, that took over for me, so that I could go see family that is sick with cancer. I can honestly say that this trip was more than just a typical trip.

This trip was one of a reflection on my life, a glimpse of where my hopes and dreams for myself and my family lie, and the most important lesson of this trip was that you need to cherish those special moments that you have with your loved ones. Even when those moments are brief, they mean so much later on. I am witnessing a man that has always been a "larger than life" character, a man that you would just never think of as weak or feable, just fade away to cancer. Don't get me wrong, he is still "here" and his mind is sharp but his body is so thin and frail. You are just never prepared to actually see someone you love, just seem "normal and dying" if that makes sense. For me my uncle was just going to live forever, in my eyes.

I also was able to spend time with my great aunt whom also has cancer and is at "end stage". She has declined so fast, since she was here in Ohio with her sister, (my other great aunt who died in May). Trust me, her spirit is still here but her body is falling fast.

Which brings me to my BIG AH HA MOMENT! Now, I say this because this hit me at about 3a.m. in the morning, this morning! I was thinking of my uncle and my great aunt and God just kind of tapped me on the head, Like: DUH LEEANN!!!! DON'T YOU GET IT! THEIR SPIRIT LIVES ON!!!!!!

AH HA!!!!! Yes, their spirit lives on. Just because their "earthly" body gives out, their spirit is strong and everlasting. Now, I have to back up and tell you the story which led to my AH HA moment. My uncle has a cancerous tumor growing around his esophagus and has blocked his esophagus so that he cannot eat or drink. So he has a feeding tube for now until the radiation begins and starts to shrink the tumor. Well, as many of us would feel, he is missing food terribly. The taste and the sensation of eating and drinking. As you can imagine Ensure going into you stomach via tube feeds, is not that satisfying. He is allowed to "swish" a drink around in his mouth but he is supposed to spit it out in fear of aspiration. So the other day he swished Gatorade around in his mouth and then just kept quiet. So when asked "Where did your mouthful of Gatorade go"?? He just grinned and pointed to his tube and said "See that red in there"!! Yep! He swallowed it! What a stinker! But pretty typical for him! See, his spirit is STRONG!

As for my great aunt, All I have to say is......If a seventy something woman with end stage lung cancer can eat pickled pigs feet for breakfast, then her spirit and stomach are STRONG!!!!!

I am not kidding! This woman in one day ate raw lettuce and onions out of the garden, fried hot dogs for breakfast, chicken wings, and many other items that I cannot recall, then the next morning ate pickled pigs feet for breakfast! What a character!

So in the middle of the night and at 36 years of age, I get it! Our earthly body dies and our spirit strengthens and lives on. I have never really thought as much about death and our spiritual birth as I have in recent years. It all started to really make me think and question when my uncle "Buster" died, he was my mom's first sibling to die about 11 years ago. The family has never been the same since and now my uncle Albert, my mom's second sibling is dying and I know this will hit our family hard as well.

I took a picture of my mom and her brothers and sisters, this trip as they were all there and that NEVER happens as they are scattered. Originally there were 9 but my uncle Buster has passed , I will name them for you.

(on swing) Uncle Albert, Uncle Rick, Aunt Doreen, Aunt Kathy

(in back) Aunt Lisa, Aunt Maxine, Aunt Margie, and my mom (Denise) on the end, right.

This is some of his nieces,

(on swing) Uncle Albert, (my sister) Lisa, Cousin Lori, Myself

(in back) Cousin Autumn, and Cousin Amy