Today has been a day of just very negtive feelings for me. I tend to be a tough cookie most days but not today. It started with a family member just strolling past me about 3 times as I was sitting with Arlyn out in public. I don't really talk to this family member but many times have they just ingnored me. Also my friends request on Facebook, which I ONLY requested to be polite. But, that's besides the point, the point is it angered me, not even a quick "HI" as they walked past.
Then next event is the most frustrating, hurtful one. I have 2 family members with cancer, one at end stage, and one that is just not doing well. I have the opporitunity to go help out with their care, as my wounderful husband and his mom urged me to go and they will "take over" mommy duties. But unfortunately, I have family that for some reason, I don't think they want me to go. It hurts my feelings so deeply. All I want to do is help with whatever they need done, but people just want to stand in my way. To me, it's cowardly! I am torn between anger and hurt. I don't like it!
I just don't understand at this time of great need in our family how people can be such cowards and judgemental! I know I just need to get on my knees and pray for everyone involved but it's a hard task to do with my feelings lingering. I will pray though for many family members need God's hand for many different reasons.
I just have to say that I know that I am truely blessed with a wonderful husband, my precious children, and "some" family members that truely understand. They don not know how much I appreciate them.
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