Welcome To My World

I want to welcome you to my world. My "special needs parent" world that is...

As Christmas has just passed and we are approaching the new year, it's certainly a time to look back and reflect on the year that has past.

This time last year we had just moved back to Ohio from Tennessee. Mostly because of Arlyn and her medical needs. But also because of lack of support in TN. It was a breath of fresh air to be back and ringing in 2010 in familiar territory.

The beginning of my 2010 was chalked full of specialist appts. for Miss Arlyn and getting her established with a plethora of doctors. We also encountered her major surgery (bowel/fundoplication/g-tube). It was a crazy busy year.

I also had my 4yr old, Alex, to contend with. Alex has more emotional special needs, but needs none the less. We had to re-establish him as well, with the specialists. So between Alex and Arlyn, I was hopping all over the place this year!!

Now that things have slowed and the appointments are a little fewer and farther between, we have gotten into a routine and life is pretty typical. I LOVE typical and predictable!!!

BUT.....when you throw in a holiday such as Christmas....it really throws a wrench in your routine!!

Don't get me wrong, I love holidays and we make them work for our special kiddos that thrive on routine but man, can they throw a wrench in the works!!!

Christmas is the toughest because we have 3 Christmas's in 1 day (ours, inlaws, and my parents). So trying to schedule all of them with medication time, and naptime and meal times is a feat within itself.

This year we have one that takes a med to help him nap and the other that prefers her crib and is very picky about her surroundings. Not a good combo! LOL

So the inlaws seen only about 40 minutes of Alex and Arlyn and off they went, to home for naps!

Do I feel bad??? Well, yes and no. I hate that, that's all the time they got to spend with grandma but I will not put their health and emotions on the back burner either!

I know many of my online friends totally understand this post and struggle with the exact same issues, if not more...

I just pray that family and friends understand and can get a glimpse of what us, as parents of "special children" have to think of and live with everyday.

There will be more to come on this topic for sure!!!

What Are kids For??

Sometimes, I wonder, Why Did I Want Kids?? Then God shows me exactly why (well, some of the reasons) hehe!

Because we all need a superhero to save the day!

Because after a hard day of being cute, then they just get cuter! Especially when they're asleep! LOL

They bring "adventure" into our lives!! Just like Indiana Jones!!

And...Don't forget the humor! How else so you cure a bloody nose??

But....The main reason I wanted kids, Because life would be incomplete without them!!

Too Cute To Not Post

Arlyn is my "little" supervisor in the kitchen! First, she supervises!

Then, she makes sure mommy"s food tastes just right!

Then she just poops out on me during dinner time!

UGH! Being a Diva is such hard work!! HeHe!

Time Flies! Also A Little Lesson!

WOW! Time sure does fly when it's "Back To School Time" or in our case "Homeschool" time!

It's now closing on the end of October and before you know it it will be "GULP" Christmas Time!!!

We have had alot going on in the Mehring house. We are homeschooling 3 of our 4 school age children. Arlyn has therapies 3 times a week and now Alex will have additional therapies as well. James and I are taking a class at church once a week and just trying to keep a schedule is near impossible these days.

But in the midst of it all we did manage to take a mini vacation down to Kentucky for our annual Halloween party. We had so much fun and man, those mountains in the fall are spectacular!!! I did not want to leave! LOL

James and I have also had some difficult decisions to make in these last few weeks. We have chosen to remove ourselves from a pending adoption. This was an extremely hard decision and one that we still grieve over daily. But due to oncoming medical issues(of the child) and the hectic life that we already lead, we felt that this child would benefit from a more confident, abled family. But oh how we so wanted this sweet baby to join our family! We loved this child and considered him ours for many months now. Our hearts ache for him but you know, if you really love someone and you just know that you may not be the best family for them, then you need to let them go and that's what we did.

That brings me to my lesson. It's an ADOPTION LESSON!!!
I would like to fill you in on a few things that "us" as adoptive parents really can't stand. It's an "adoption etiquite" if you will.

First off, the word REAL such as..."What abour their real parents"??
Ohhhhh, that is a big no no! See, we are their real parents! We take care of them when they are sick, we take on the night feedings, bathe them, dress them, wipe their noses, go to school functions, teach them right from wrong, comfort them thru boyfriend/girlfriend drama, teach them to drive, send them to college, walk them down the isle, and the list goes on and on!!!

We are real, we are not fake so do not minimize us! If you are wondering about their biological or birth parents then say biological or birth parents!!! I know many mean well but you have to think of these words from where we stand. It hurts.

Second, if you have questions about adoption such as process, time frames, options and such please ask. But please do not ask about my adopted children's history or their birth parents history especially in front of that child!!! Can you imagine me telling all of the sometimes not so pleasant details of your life or your parents life to the public??? If you would like to know some of the delicate details please ask in private. ALSO DO NOT ASK......How much did you pay for (him/her)???? UGH!!! I did not "pay" a price for my child!!! I did however pay fees in the "adoption process" of my child. Again, ask me these details in private, not in front of the child.

Third and really the most infuriating one!!! Birthparents make adoption plans for many different reasons. It may be that they are very young and just cannot handle a child. Or that this child will be born with special needs that the parents just cannot accomodate (single parent, works full time) or what if you have 2 or 3 small children and are completely overwhelmed. The birth parents could be addicts, or homeless, or in abusive relationship. All of these are very realistic.
But whatever the circumstance, and before you pass judgement, stop and think about how you would feel if you were homeless, and didn't know where your next meal was coming from, or what if you lived in another country and watched many children and adults starve to death. Would you want to watch your own child starve??? Or would you maybe sacrifice your own wants and let your child go to someone that can care and feed your child?? Heart wrenching decision isn't it!!! I know I would just shatter if I had to make that decision. I honestly don't know what I would do. But this is the reality of what birthparents go thru.

So don't say "How can someone give up their child"!?! Think about what they are going thru.
In our case, we have Arlyn, her birth family felt unprepared to care for her special needs. Some may say that they just gave her up because she wasn't perfect. But that's not the case. They felt that they couldn't take on her needs, and believe me her needs are great! Does that make them bad?? No, in my eyes that makes them selfless, they chose a different life for her, they knew that they may not have been the best parents for her at that time in their lives. They chose a family that was familiar with her needs and were committed to her without even laying eyes on her. Do I believe that they could have cared for her and loved her just as much as we do?? You bet!!! Do I love this family and tell them how much we love Arlyn and how great and selfless they are for allowing us to parent their precious baby?? You bet!!

If it weren't for birthparents and the gift of adoption, I would not have 3 of my beautiful children!!! I will defend birthfamilies to my death!!!

I know that adoption is not for everyone, and that many people do not accept of approve of adoption but I am just trying to help people understand and learn a little along the way. You will find that most adoptive families love to talk and answer questions about adoption. So if you have ever wanted to ask questions by all means ask, but just remember to do it with grace. Most likely you will open the "flood gates" !!! LOL

Thanks for reading and I will try to post more often as we find our "grove" these days.

Busy Life

WOW! We are so busy latley!!! Between appointments and searching for a new van and the homeschool, man, have we been busy!

I have so neglected my blog! There really isn' t much to report as of lately. We did get a (old, but new to us) van. We are attending Dave Ramsey classes at church (cause who couldn't use a little financial tune up). Running our kids to various appointments and dipping our toes into homeschooling 3 instead of 1 this year.

I have to report that I have two new contact lens wearers in the house, Kierstyn and Kaden. They are adjusting well but poor Kaden, his eyes are so small its pure torture getting those things in and out of his eye. Plus the lenses are so weighted due to the high perscription, that they fall off of your finger before you even reach his eye.

Arlyn is FINALLY up to 8 pounds and is cutting teeth so she's not so happy most of the time. I am praying that our life slows down a bit in the near future but I wouldn't bet money on it!

I will have to click some pics and post them soon but I have even been too busy to do that! Bear with me please! LOL

Following Our Dream

So you probably think I forgot about my blog, didn't you???

Well, I did not! We had phone and computer difficulty for about a week and then this total exhaustion hit me from no where! It's been rough but I'm trying my darndest to get over it.

In the meantime, we have had some major nudging from "ah em" "The Man Upstairs". He has really been showing us the path that He wants us to take in our lives and boy, it sure feels good to realize and see the BIG PICTURE!!! Well, what He will let us see! hehe

Last Monday, we had a meeting with a local fostering agency on the "potential adoption" of 3 boys (twins 3, and baby brother 1). It was a very neat and educational meeting as we learned about the boys and told them about our family. It sure gave us alot to think about over this past week!!!

But as much as we would have loved to add them to our family, something just didn't feel right. They just didn't feel like "our sons". God touched our hearts with these boys and we loved learning about them and trust me, they are precious!! But it just didn't feel right. So we called the agency and told them that as much as we would have loved to adopt them, we must follow our hearts and what God has planned for us.

So, its been a mad rush to get our paperwork completed and off to what we feel, is our child! There are several amazing things that have revealed themselves about this child and the situation. but I will post about them when things are more solidified. Right now, our journey is not over and I don't want to miss any of the amazing tale!

Stay tuned as our journey unfolds and we pray that you will witness the "birth" of our next child!

Been Awhile! VENTING TONIGHT

It's been awhile since I've posted on here. Sorry, it's been a crazy few days! Our family is going through some changes, some could be major and some not as much. It's not really anything bad (although some family would probably say different). It's just changes.

Alot of this time has been waiting for answers to some rather important questions. We have gotten many of our answers but then as those answers came, more questions came, so we wait for even more answers. It seems never ending to say the least. It also seems as though, one answer hinges upon another answer. UGH! Frustrating isn't even the word for it all!

But in the midst of all of the never ending wait, I have God to thank for my children and my husband. We are all fine and healthy (except a little g-tube trouble for Arlyn), we have each other, and our friends. God Is Good!

Now My Vent.....
I really don't know where to start, this issue has been an issue for quite some time.
FAMILY!!!
Yes! Family! It never ceases to amaze me how sometimes family has your back and can be such great support but man, when they don't agree with your choices!!! WATCH OUT!

My family is well, not so enthused with our choice of adding more children to our family. They love the kids and give them attention but to keep adopting more, they just don't get it. I know that some mean well. They just don't want us to be overwhelmed, but some are just plain hurtful and jealous!!!

Why do I think they are jealous?? Because I'm the type of person that will set my goal and strive til I reach it! I don't ever back down from a challenge! Especially if someone tries to hinder my goal or just tells me that I can't do it! I just don't think that certain family members like that about me. I have a spine and I for sure have a mouth! LOL

If you can't already tell, this has been a hot subject for me! hehe In my case the "hot" subject is adoption but in many other peoples lives its many other things. Wether it's your lifestyle, what car you buy or home, how you parent, your religion, and so on. It just seems that you cannot please every loved one and you certainly shouldn't live your life to their expectations or wishes.

That wouldn't even be your life that you are living!! Now, don't get me wrong, I definately have my opinions about how some of my loved ones live and the choices that they make. But the difference here is that I don't set out to hinder or hurt their life choices. Unfortuately some do! :(

Ok, this rant is almost over! haha But I leave with this..... IF God didn't want our family to adopt anymore children then WHY has he made it possible for many and I do mean MANY, potential placements come our way within the last 3-4 months??? I have never felt so honored and blessed. Alot of these potential children would have been a wonderful addition but alas, they just weren't meant for us. But it is humbling to have so many social workers(who see many families on paper) pick our family out of many, to be in the "top pick" for these special children!!

I have to think that we are doing something right. I have to believe that it's not luck but His will for us! I have to just ignore the undesirable intentions and thoughts of some and step out on my faith that I am doing what He wants me to do. Maybe someday, people will be more accepting and understanding. Maybe someone will see our family and its make-up and really appreciate what God has blessed us with AND maybe just maybe, some may see that adoption is a gift and that they can be just as blessed as we are. :)

A Birthday Celebration!

Arlyn's birthday party was today! Yes! Our precious baby is 1 !!! Hard to believe, it's already been a year that she came into our lives. Boy! We have been thru alot in this year!

We lived in Tennessee when Arlyn was born, we moved back to Ohio for her to get better care, she went through major surgery , pneumonia, tummy bugs and typical growing pains (cutting teeth).

But we also got to see her smile her beautiful smile, laugh and giggle, coo, love and know all of us, we also witnessed her learning to roll over, and of course shed a few tears and get anything she wanted! LOL

WOW! What a journey! Wonder what the next year ahead of us will bring! I know that it won't be easy but we are honored and blessed to be able to travel this journey with Arlyn. We thank God that he chose us to be this precious childs mommy and daddy.

And...Jamie decided to get a dozen pink balloons for the occasion so what happens when you have 12 balloons in floating around your house?????

Yep! A good old balloon fight! hehe

She"s Rolling!!!

Miss Arlyn is rolling over!!!!! The day before her 1st birthday and she has figured out how to roll over. Of course Jamie and I are in tears!! LOL

I know that this is a big deal for every parent. But Arlyn is a very special girl. She is our CDLS affected child and as you can imagine, when you have a spcial needs child everything is a big deal!

We cannot be more proud of our angel. She is such a blessing to us.God gave us such a miraculous gift when he entrusted us to be her mommy and daddy. We just want to love and nurture her the best of our ability. I even texted her physical therapist tonigh to share the news!! hehe

I managed to catch her mid roll on video. Enjoy!

WAITING

So this week has been about waiting. Waiting for many answers, to many questions. I would love to say that "I am patiently waiting". But that would be a total lie!!! I hate waiting. It stinks!

But what do ya do??? You pretty much have to wait!

I am relying on God's timeing and His will. I know that He knows what's best for us and even if I disagree, what the heck can I do about it!!! LOL

Things are unfolding slowly and I believe that within this next week we will have more answers.

I wish I had more to share but in due time I pray that I will.

Birthday Boy

Yes! There is a birthday boy in our house today! He is a little goofy, a little immature and a WHOLE LOT OF FUN.....

My dear husband is 40 today!! But here's where the goofy and immature comes into play....

Happy Birthday Dear! Hope you enjoyed your cake!

Been A Rough Week and A Half

Sorry everyone! It's been a rough week and a half and I really am not ready to talk in depth about much. My uncle Albert died on July 18th of esophageal cancer, so I had to travel to Ky. last week for the funeral and then yesterday (July 26th) my great aunt Una died of lung cancer.

So it's safe to say that I am emotionally and physically exhausted at this point. But I wanted to get on here and share some funny pics and what keeps me going when I feel that I have nothing left to give.

My 14yr old, having a jealousy moment!!! Poor Arlyn!

Yet another moment! She's a nut! Kierstyn thinks she's an infant again!

This man keeps me laughing! Even when the world makes me wanna cry! This is his dumpster treasure!!!

Yes! Even in the drive thru! He wore his treasure!!! This is my dear husband everyday! So slapstick and humorous! But I love hime anyway! :)

What A Difference

What a difference! Arlyn went from this..

To this..

What a stinker!!! But Hey! It's success!!!

Now! what you've all been waiting for..PROOF!

If you look really closely, you will see me standing on a television, looking for dumpster treasures!!! LOL

When Good Intentions Aren't Enough

I write this post sitting here in total confusion. I admit that sometimes my intentions are good but I think that they cloud my capability. All that I want to do with my life is first, surrender to God and let His Will be done thru me. Second, I just want to raise my babies to the best of my ability, I want to be a loving wife, and last but not least, I want to help children in anyway that I can. Wether that be by adoption, advocation, foster parenting, volunteering, or just by any other means possible.

That being said, I do believe that my heart is big but I really need to wrap my mind around what my husband and I can really handle and take on in our lives and family. As most of you know, Arlyn has been getting sick alot lately and it scares us to death everytime! She is a tough cookie but she is oh so fragile at the same time. We are working on trying to figure out what is causing these bouts of tummy trouble and everytime, we have to think "Is it something more severe"??? Us, as parents, know that when our babies are sick, the world stops and our "mamma bear" mode kicks in, and they are the center of our attention in those moments.

So in these past few days, I really had to stop and think, "Do we have any business adopting another seriously medically fragile child"??

You all, I just don't know that answer! I really don't! I know that our hearts would be in in for the long haul but do we physically and mentally have what it takes for 2 fragile babies??

I am going on prayer and letting God lead the way as we finish up our paperwork. I also have to share that there is another family that has appeared and will be going into consideration along with us for baby boy. I am not saddened by this, but I am seeing that this may be God's way of telling us to let go or fight even harder for this child.

Either way, this child will get a great family and he will be loved beyond belief!! I will let you know how this unfolds as we take this journey and follow our faith.

Things I Have Determined

I have determined that my daughter is destined to have crazy hair!

That my dog is a bit "challenged"!!

That my husband can make me laugh so hard!

My children can "actually" play together without fighting!

Teenagers are just aliens from another planet!

AND...That When I'm Down And Doubting Everything That I Thought Was Solid. That God Steps In And Holds My Hand Thru It All!!!

It's been a tough week! But I think it's getting better! Praise Be To God!

Anyone Awake??

At 4:35am??? Well, I am and I just got done mopping my kitchen floor! This is the second night in a row that I cannot sleep. When this occures it usually means I'm stressed about something. Hate to say but I am...

I guess my question is...How far do we go to accomodate our special needs kids?

It seems simple, we would do anything right?? But just think about it, if you have a child in a wheelchair, that needs a main level bedroom, a full bathroom, and space for all of the equipment that the child may need(wheelchair, stander, mats, etc.), and your current home is just not cutting it, what would you do? First you think of trying to modify your home, but when that may be impossible, then you think of a new home. But what if that seems impossible? Many people in this economy cannot just go out and buy a new home.

That's where we are at! Purchasing a new home is just not possible for us right now and our current home, although spacious and beautiful, just cannot be modified the way we need. So what do we do? this would not have been a problem a few months ago as Arlyn is still so tiny and she will be able to be carried up and down stairs for quite sometime. BUT.. we have a "pending" adoption of baby boy that is already 3 and 25 pounds and very stiff with Cerebral Palsy. This is where the "panic mode" kicks in!

I am clumsy enough as it is and I tend to fall down stairs very well by myself. *SIGH*
I panic bringing Arlyn down, so bringing baby boy down! Really scares me!

But God has intervened, I think, and brought us a new situation, a new home. One that will work for our family, one that has the right amount of bedrooms and bathrooms, one that has "extra" space for our kids that we don't have currently. This home also has a pool that I feel would be good therapy for Arlyn and baby boy!

So what's the problem? It's not in our town, it's upheaving my family once more to a new location, it's still in a neighborhood and I sooo long for country, it's scary to be in a small town that you have never lived in before! This home is about 35 minutes from our town so it's not like it's on the other side of the world but still it's not here.

So what do we do??? I am at a loss. My husband is at a loss and now I'm losing sleep over it. It's times like these that I would love for someone to just tell us the right decision. But I know someone will, GOD! I am trying to listen, but listening is so hard sometimes!

So I ask for prayers, as I sure do need them for guidance and a clear head, and SLEEP!!!!

Thanks for reading and listening to me whine a little in these wee hours.

God Is Working In The Mehring House!

If you are friends with me on Facebook, then you know that at 1a.m. God showed His Hand at our house last night! It was magical and glorious!! Let me explain(a little).



We are ready to adopt again and we feel called to adopt special needs children. I have been networking for a few months and inquiring about a few children that I have found. Sometimes you never hear a word back about these kids but sometimes....you get a call and that's what happened. We got a call about a special needs little boy. I was told of his situation and I told them, "Sure we are interested". I was given his care taker's phone number and was urged to call her and learn about this boy. It took a few weeks to reach the care taker and once I did, she shared with me, many things about this precious child. Some things were typical and what I expected and some were terrifying!!



I told Jamie and we prayed about this situation. Then, I did what many would do, I just tried to put this child out of my mind. I told Jamie "We can't do this, he is too complicated and is that fair to our other children"?? Then I went on my merry way and inquired about more children.



A couple months had passed and I would think of this boy often and the strangest thing of all, is that I could never bring myself to call the social worker and tell her that we just could not take this boy into our family. I just froze everytime I picked up the phone. I knew the God was not letting me call. But how could we ever care for this child knowing what we were told??? I kept on resisting God's words to me.



On June 8th, our son Alex's birthday and the day of his party. My husband came running outside and said "You have a phone call". So I took the call and guess who it was????



It was this boy's social worker, informing me that they had to move baby boy into a new home due to "concerns of the caretaker". The worker urged me to call the new caretaker and discuss how baby boy is doing. So I gave it a few days, not even sure I wanted to call, but I did!



That's when God just took me by the hand and showed me who was boss! The new caretaker was an amazing angel, she reassured us that this boy was just fine and that he is worth every minute of care that he requires. I cannot even describe the feeling I felt after that call!!! What an amazing God we have!!!



So, now you're thinking "Happy Ending, Right"??? Nope! Have I ever told you all that I'm a little stubborn??? hehe

I was gung ho after that phone call and then we recieved pictures and that was it!!!! We were hooked! BUT....we had to update our paperwork and that requires time and money! So the race was on!!!



Now, in the mean time we got yet another call! This time about the 3 brothers that I fessed up to a few posts ago. We did go ahead and submitted our paperwork for consideration and as you know we came in second. But in the middle of waiting for the answer on the 3 boys, I just had this feeling that these were not our children. I told Jamie this and he agreed. It just didn't feel right. After we knew the boys were not ours, it then cemented yet again, who our child was!



So we are now almost done with our update and just resting as we anticipate a new addition within this year. Then!!! Yesterday, I found out that a child that waits in China is now available once again for adoption that I so adore. I guess I just have too much heart because this tore me to pieces! I would love nothing more than to bring this precious girl home! So I started franticly gathering all of her information and asking questions, and thinking that maybe this is a sign!



I texted Jamie to tell him as he knew who this little girl was and he seemed responsive to the idea. But then it happened. God needed to remind me who my child was! My husband texted me back and told me that "baby boy" was on his heart and he was excited about him. This spoke volumes to me!!! Jamie never gets excited about any child until he physically sees them! I knew that this was coming from above!



Shortly after our texting conversation, I recieved an email (this is where the 1am comes in). It was from baby boys caretaker! She once again showed her "angel status" as she wrote so many encouraging words! I just cannot believe how much God is in our home and our lives!!! I am just amazed!! So I will now stop the roadblocks and just obey my God!!! I am stubborn but I am faithful!



One more inspiration to me today, is the fact that today my dear husband has been so "adoption crazy"!!! He has texted me and has mentioned the gift of adoption a few times today! It's amazing!!! This is so unlike him! He told me that he is proud of our family and many people don't know the privelage of being an adoptive parent!! I am speechless and just in awe!



Our journey to our baby boy is far from over and I really don't know a timeline of the things to come. But I will share when I can and continue to let God lead the way!

This is why we should trust God's word and NEVER doubt it! He leads us to the most AMAZING gifts!

It Started Out Good!

My day that is! I took the kids to the park to play with their new friends, while their mom and I got to know each other better. It was a great time! Came home and everything was fine, Alex and Arlyn napped, Kaden and Lelah played upstairs, Kierstyn was gone with grandma. Life was nice and quiet.

Then the evening came and my mood just plummeted. It's like I was in a fog, just going thru the motions of a typical evening. Have you ever felt that way?? If my children was running thru the house with hack saws just cutting all of the funiture up in my house, I wouldn't even have cared! (YIKES TO THAT THOUGHT)

So I sat on my porch swing and just tried to figure out what was making my evening so funky. When all of a sudden, I hear a ....tap, tap, tap! Here's what I saw out our side entrance door.....

I look again to make sure I saw, what I saw!

Yep! Miss Arlyn was peeking at me!

That's all it took to help bring me out of my funky mood! Here are some more goofy pics, in case you are in a funky mood!

She is not impressed with her new SKULL sunglasses that her sissy Keke bought her!

Her dad does this to all babies that enter our home! Shirt or pants on the head!!!

Yep! It ended as a good evening!

The 4th of July

Happy 4th everyone! I hope everybody had a great fun filled holiday! Ours was great! Yesterday was our city fireworks and today was a cookout at my moms. I always eat too much though over this holiday! LOL

But last night as we sat at Jamie's moms house to watch the fireworks, I was thinking of last year at this time and the big changes that were about to happen to our family. See, last 4th of July we were about to embark on a journey of moving our family out of state to Tennessee. This was a BIG DEAL for us as my husband had lived in the same town his whole life! We moved on the 15th of July of last year. Arrived in the wee hours of the morning and were so exhausted, as you can imagine!

Our family was so excited to experience a whole new world, it seemed! The beautiful mountains, the millions of trees and the southern twang of everyones accents! It was so refreshing than boring Ohio!! So we thought!

My husband is a tattoo artist and went down there to work for his friend, it was exciting for him as he has owned his own shop for about 20 years now. But we soon discovered that the hours were not what we were used to. Jamie always had the freedom to come and go as he pleased from his own shop, now he worked 6 days a week 10-12 hr days. Not Cool!!! But that was the hours so thats what he had to do. So I had to manage all 4 of the kids at that time and establish schools, bills, the house, and everything else you can imagine.

The kids soon started school and life was getting routine. But as soon as the kids stated school and we seemed to have a "normal" going, we got an email! It was an email from our adoption agency about a baby already born. Yep! Miss Arlyn came into our family. As you can imagine, we were not prepared, not in the "baby item sense" or in the "paperwork sense". So it was a mad scramble! But we managed.

Arlyn came home in about a month of age and then we started all over again with a new "normal". Things were a little scary at times with her reflux and the state of Tennessee was taking its sweet time getting her health insurance established. So many specialists would not see her only her pediatrician.

As we came back to Ohio in September for our first visit back and Arlyns first meeting with both of our families, it just felt wierd to be back and in the "familiar". We had a great visit and hated to go home but it was time. I admit that after that visit I became homesick for Ohio! sniff sniff

Life went on but I realized how miserable I had become in TN. I had no support, no one to talk to, our finances were miserable and the last straw was the Arlyn still had NO INSURANCE!!!! So no dr. would touch her! I cried almost every night and just knew where I needed to be, back in OH!!!

I told my dear husband what I was feeling and he was not a happy guy at first. But he came to realize the need at least for Arlyns sake! So we made the hard decision to pack back up and move back to OH. We moved on November 15th and haven't looked back!

Since we have been back, life is good! I look at Ohio differently now. I always thought I hated it here but for now, at least it's home! I love the support that I have, and the new friends I am making. I love my church and am getting to know some members. I love the farmland even the plain old fields.

So a year ago today, our lives changed tremendouly. We moved out of state, and back again, we have a new precious addition to our family, and we realized even though our move was brief, it made a huge impact on us all. I took a few pictures last night before the fireworks, I didn't get all of my kids as they were scattered and playing but I did manage to get a few pics.

My Oldest, Kierstyn(14) and I

Miss Arlyn in her red, white, and blue

And of course Alex trying to stand still for a pic

A Mixed Bag Of Nuts

Yes, this post is a mixed bag of nuts.

There are a few things on my mind and this is going to be a post of them. Today is Jamie and I's 15th anniversary. WOW! 15 years! We had some say that we wouldn't make it 6 months! Guess the joke's on them!! We were supposed to be at a luxury hotel with our own private pool tonight but family comes first. Jamie's uncle passed away a couple of days ago and today was the viewing and tomorrow is the funeral, hubby is a paw bearer(sp?) and that is more important.

We also have a sick little princess tonight as Arlyn has a tummy bug again but she's in good spirits, so we are thatnkful for that. So we will just have a belated anniversary sometime this month. I am just greatful for the time I got to spend with Jamie today. I am such a blessed woman to have such a devoted, tolerant, loving husband. The poor man does up with alot! :)

Next Topic

Discipline!!! I have 2 kiddos close in age, Lelah 10 and Kaden 9(well almost). They can be the best of buds or they can be the worst enemies. Their favorite past time is tattling on each other and it drives me NUTS!!!!!

So today as always here they come, to tattle. Well, Lelah has a little habit of jsut doing things nad I quote "Cause I want to"!! Yes, rules do not apply some days to her because I guess I missed the memo that she is the boss!

Kaden on the other hand, has a nasty habit of tormenting the cat and his younger brother Alex. So today I thought I would give them a dose of reality. I went into their rooms and dumped all of their clothes out of their dressers, just threw them on the floor. WHY???? Because I wanted to!!!!

Oh, the look of disgust on their faces was priceless! They spent quite a bit of time folding and puting all of it away, and then I said "I might jsut have to do that again cause breaking rules are fun"!!! Let's just say they are not happy and I think they are fretting that I might just do it again! ;)

Last Topic(I think)

I promised that I would fess up to what was going on this past Monday when I knew more. So Here goes.. We were being considered for a sibling group of 3 boys, ages 3(twins) and 10 months. It was a close and tough decision we were told by our worker but we are the "backup" family. If for some reason, the chosen family cannot proceed then we will be called. We were ok with the decision as we know God has a plan. We do have a few more kids that we are being considered for and I am sure that God will lead us to our child. I am just glad that these precious boys have found their family.

I have a couple pics to share tonight. First is jamie and i today on our anniversary. We tried to take the picture with Jamies phone so its the best we could do.

The other is our anniversary cake that I made for us, strawberry poke cake! Yum! Enjoy!!

When Adoption Isn't Perfect

This post is so difficult to write. I usually am a sobbing mess when I have to deal with this subject and I'm sure by the end of this post I will be. Here's a question that all of us as adoptive families have to face.

What If My Adopted Child/Children Aren't Treated Equally By Family??? (GULP)

Well, we are experiencing that very subject right now. It has been going on for years and I cannot see it ever resolving itself. I hate to say that and trust me, I pray that I am wrong but how can you change the mind of someone else??? You can't!

Here is our story. When we adopted Lelah, she was 5 yrs old and was being disrupted from an international adoption. She came to us a very scared and angry, little girl and I'm sure VERY CONFUSED!!! Life with her was not easy and we made many mistakes being that this was our first adoption and we had NO CLUE about attachment issues.

We had decided that grandparents could watch her, as she was improving in her behavior. Bad mistake!! She decided to start in with her tantrums and not listening, which pushed grandma over the edge and labeled her "a bad kid"!!

It's been 5 years now and she is still the "bad kid"! She has made tremendous improvement but of course has her moments but nothing like it used to be. But grandma has decided to just not bond with her and just ingnore her. As you can imagine this has been a HUGE ordeal for us as we will defend her til our dying day. But it just goes on. For instance, grandma will have all grand kids stay over, but not her! Grandma will give love and attention to all grand kids, but not her!

Can you even imagine what Lelah must be feeling??? I cannot! I cannot even wrap my mind around the unfairness, the hurt, the jealousy, the feeling of not being loved! I just can't! I have cried, and screamed at grandma for this, I have told her she accepts Lelah or she sees NO GRANDKIDS!! But still nothing! What does one do in this situation?? Cut all ties? It would be easy to say yes, but what about the others kids?? They have a realtionship with grandma. How do I sever that realtionship? That isn't fair to them. I am just at a loss for words or wisdom.

Most of all I am just so hurt, and angry! How could a grown woman just treat a 10 yr old girl like this?? Just my honest opinion is that grandma is a coward!! She doesn't want to even try to get to know Lelah. She doesn't want to have to set boundaries and try to see the good in my daughter. Nope! Grandma just wants to label her"bad" and be done with it (told you this was honest)! I have screamed the words "Your other grand kids(not mine) do wrong things and yet you accept them"!!! Her response "Well, They Are Blood"!!!! AHHHHH! It comes out!

I'm sure you are wondering about Alex and Arlyn? Well, they came to us as babies and so well, babies are ok, and more loveable! RIGHT!!! NO!!! That is WRONG!!! But that's what I have come to conclusion! I am puting this out there so people know that adoption is not easy and accepting. It's a struggle, if not in this way there are many other ways. All I can do is pray about this situation and hope that one day grandma will know what she has done to this poor child.

It has been a hard day around here as yet again grandma strikes! Feelings are hurt and mom and dad will come to the rescue.

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....

Your water hose is not long enough and you "rig" it up to fill up the "FAMILY POOL"!!
Enjoy!!!

Or...Your wife risks life and limb, climbing into a dumptser to get this!!! Just to plant flowers in!!!!

Yep! Another day in the Mehring house! Aren't you envious?!